The Vanity in Victimization

The Vanity in Victimization

Very few people have learned my story of being physically and sexually abused in the past. In extreme transparency I open up about the dangers of falling into the trap of living in a state of victimization, and how powerfully Christ can redeem trauma by transformation.

Vanity manifests from victimization because your focus is only on YOU.

Your pain. Your burdens. Your unfairness.

Victimization breeds bitterness, resentment, a constant state of suffering, and completely prevents you from healing.

It becomes all consuming, exhausting, and isolating.

Instead of dealing with my trauma, I chose to repress it.

As a result this is what happened to me:

  • I longed for control in any area of my life because at one point it was robbed from me
  • I struggled to cope when things didn’t go as planned because I couldn’t function when control was taken from me
  • I built up walls that were once seen as “protection” that lead to defensiveness and victimization
  • I couldn’t sit still or have any “free time” in my life because it served as my outlet to compensate for actually processing my pain
  • There was little room for grace because any pain inflicted upon me convinced me to believe that person had to automatically be against me
  • When I was abandoned in my marriage, I had the prime opportunity to feed that deeply engraved victim role. Instead, God took hold of my heart and told me, “I’m going to use your pain as a trajectory”.

    See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this. How can I let myself be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another.” Isaiah 48:10-11

    I realized there was something rooted within me that allowed me to always feel like the victim, and as if the world was falling apart every time control was ripped from me.

    I prayed for The Lord to reveal everything to me. In turn, through my dreams, He replayed my traumatic events before me that I fought for so long to run from. I finally had understanding.

    Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7

    I decided I was going to be done with being the victim, and choose to take the stand as a victor. I could stand confident as a victor because Christ already declared it into existence before me.

    I was a survivor. I was rescued. I was healed. All because I allowed Jesus to reveal the hidden root, and with open palms welcomed redemption to begin.

    Are you going to be the person who points the finger? Or are you going to fight to be the person who draws the circle? The circle that says, let me step back and examine ME.

    Develop an acceptance and awareness that each and every one of us is fallen and broken because of sin. We are not perfect, and that’s completely okay.

    What’s not okay is to blame someone else or the circumstances you’ve faced in your life for the state you choose to live in.

    Yes, I said choose. Because it’s our choice.

    People and situations are not responsible for how you respond.

    Tragedy can become a trajectory because of the power behind Christ’s mighty love for you.

    We can either be free and believe the truth that Christ will heal me, or succumb to the lie and blame the people or places around me.

    Our circumstances don’t define us when Christ defied our circumstances by His sacrifice on the cross.

    Stop living in the blame, and instead ask God to reveal how He can utilize you through your pain to bring glory back to HIS name!

    Yes, the trauma or pain you have endured be so dang difficult to fight through. Friends, remember there’s absolutely nothing you can’t do with Christ walking alongside you.

    Your pain will NEVER go to waste. Your pain has purpose.

    I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18

    Once you shift the “why me?” to the “how can you use me?”, you will see freedom and healing and transform that victim into victory.

    Surrender before our mighty defender, and expectantly watch your beautiful transformation unfold right in front of you.

    Believing in the Breakthrough

    Believing in the Breakthrough

    You know that feeling. Thick heavy clouds weighing oh so heavily down on your heart. Anxiously anticipating the weight of the downpour to break you at any moment. Feeling like the flood of tears could sweep away the faintest ounce of strength you had left.

    The weariness.

    The darkness.

    The hopelessness.

    The questioning.

    Are you sure, God actually keeps His promises?


    12/11/2018 I was walking my dogs and weather outside was on the brink of a storm. It was early afternoon, but you could’ve been convinced to believe it was near dusk by the bleak darkness that filled the entire sky.

    Then, I just had this peaceful moment with God. I realized despite the heavy thick gray clouds, I’m still able to see all that’s around me. It couldn’t ever be complete darkness during the day, no matter the clouds, because the sun is more powerful. The sun is so incredibly far above that the storm can never overtake it.

    Although it may not be as bright out, we’re reminded the storm will pass and the sun will shine again.

    When the clouds begin to part and the sun starts to breakthrough, it slowly begins as single rays.The rays stretch far out across the sky to remind you hope is rising.

    When the sun finally, completely, breaks through, it becomes so blinding and powerful that you forget the clouds even exist around you.

    Isn’t it beautiful that this is exactly what Jesus does for us??

    In our storms, JESUS IS THERE!

    He is HIGHER than the storm because He is GREATER than our storms.

    I will continue to praise His name and give thanks even when my breakthrough hasn’t happened yet. I believe in this because I know in full truth He will not forsake his promises.

    Right now I know your weariness and exhaustion may be holding you down. I challenge you to fight and persevere because your prayers never fall on deaf ears!

    “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:12-13

    Your sun will shine again. Friends, your storms don’t have you. Your mighty God does, and He’s GOING TO BREAKTRHOUGH for you.

    Choose to believe in the breakthrough.

    “Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind.” Psalm 107:28-31